Yesterday, I had a question come into my mind, that I thought about it all day, and well into the evening. The question was “What is the Biggest Lesson I have learned in my Life?’ It threw my head in a tizzy. I decided to sleep on it, (and my Nuummite and Crystal Ball) and perhaps a dream, or some other inspiration would come to me during the night, I invoked. When I awoke, I had found my answer. It may surprise you in it’s simplicity, but there are a lot of people out there who are sleepwalking through Life, and never even consider asking questions about themselves, or searching for the answers to what there lot in Life is. Because of who I am, (A Shaman Witch), I tend to be under self examination, always, and it didn’t surprise me that I would ask and answer the question at all. But before I tell you my answer, please indulge my digression a bit and all will be revealed shortly.
Three weeks ago, I lost my job as a Groundskeeper of 17 years. I was working at a corporate office of a industrial cleaning company in Central Ohio. While I dearly loved the job itself, of mowing grass, trimming trees and bushes, and weeding, and all the other things that come under the heading of “Landscaping”, the corporate atmosphere was petty and for the most part nauseating. There were times when I shook my head in disbelief at the foolishness and ridiculousness that went on in order to appease the ‘higher ups”. Because of my years there and the change of management over the years, I had maxxed out on any Future pay raises, and I am 60 years old, and because I am a Witch and very non conformist in nature, and always had been ,they tried to make it hard on me by adding other assignments to my work load in hopes that I would get mad and quit, thus leaving the door open for a younger person to take over at a lower rate of pay. Someone they could control, as they couldn’t control me.
But I didn’t quit. I stuck it out there for probably longer than I should have, and in the past few years I learned the Life lesson of Surrender. Just “Letting Go”, and letting the Universe unfold for me. The stress was still there from trying to constantly run,run,run, for them, and back and forth for two hours of every day commuting,but I became a nicer and happier person along the way, where I was an angry man all those years before.
Besides lessons that I was learning in the corporate atmosphere, I was trying to establish a Metaphysical career throughout the years I was there. I am a Spiritual Advisor, Tarot Card Reader, public speaker and more. I finished my Witchcraft Training and became a Wicca High Priest, and went to a on-line Metaphysical College, and earned my Bachelor’s and Master’s Degree’s in Metaphysics. And I also kept up the “1880’s”, 14 room bed and breakfast style house I am living in still today. Also, I went through a couple of Heart related hospital issues in the past 5 years, so the warning signs of stress were all there. The letting go was only working, in part. I believe I was still harboring a lot of anger ,resentment, and anxiety, while putting on a pretty,smiling face.
I’m telling you all the high points of the past 17 years, and you can probably fill in the blank spots with a moments consideration. There is a reason I am telling this at all. That is, that I haven’t been idle. I HAVE Worked and Worked, and Worked, and at age 60, I don’t mind telling you all, I was getting a little tired! Geezzze!! My Life seemed to be slipping away, and all I have ever done is focus on the place I worked at, and I detested that place and most of the people, and I don’t think they liked me either. Seriously, My Energy and Focus were all wrong, for years!
So, it was a combination of Self Presevation and Self Sabotage that got me fired from the job. In 17 years I have only been issued a Random Drug Screen three times and on the forth time, I got caught. I hires into the place without a Drug Screen! I smoked a little while I was at the work bench at home working on art projects. (Notice the word, WORK, again?) From the time I peed in the cup to the time I was escorted to the front gate of the corporate property was only Fifteen Minutes!!! Can you say, “I was targeted?” Now, I will admit, that I have always been a weed smoker, but I don’t do it every day, and I have never done it at work. You will probably think I am trying to justify my actions, and you may be right to an extent, but sometimes you just need to relax, and I do it with pot. I don’t drink. I don’t like it. I don’t run around foolishly and spend money, and gamble, or chase women, I’m not a career criminal, nor have I ever been in serious trouble with the law. To most, I’m a model citizen. I am a VERY Spiritual person.
So, there is my tale ,in the most part, of the past 17 years. And the answer to the question, “What is the biggest lesson I have learned in my Life?” I believe that it is,
“We Create Our Own Reality”.
Some of you will say”Well,Duh!!!”, and you will be right to think that way, but seriously, how often do you intentionally create your way in Life. How often to you say and do what you desire most? Your Love. Your Passion. I will tell you this from my experience, don’t wait to follow your dreams. If you want something, then ,if it’s in your Mind, it’s half way there to being yours. Go the extra mile and don’t tread water like I did for 17 years. Don’t WORK your way through Life and never scratch the record of “Learned Behavior” and make your mark in the Universe. My intention now is to BE the Shaman Witch/Metaphysical Master I SO long to BE.
Now, I will shortly be 61 years old,and have drug violation on my work record. Jobs with open arms might be scarce. I admit that I am concerned about cash flow coming into the house, but worry and guilt and shame are pure negativity, and I surely connot afford that now. What I can afford now is, the lesson,
“We Create Our Own Reality” —-Let’s see what I do with this…….
Until next time,